Dear James, Darcy, and Ellie,

What a week! Darcy and Ellie, you landed in our world with quite a flair! Darcy, you beat Ellie here by only seconds; I guess you were getting her back for sprawling out and taking up most of the space for the last several months! Even though you both are in NICU for a few more days to clear up some early-arrival issues, you are leaping hurdles like seasoned champions.

From the day I heard that your Momma had “two babies in her belly” (description by big brother James), I have prayed every day without fail for the obvious: perfect health for you and your Momma. That prayer continues.

But I added another prayer to that plea: “God, please allow Darcy and Ellie to go home with Momma when she is discharged.” First, I wanted that because it would signify your doctor’s confidence that you were doing well. After all, as identical twins you needed to be delivered several weeks early. Second, I wanted it for your Momma, our little girl. I did not want her and your Dadda to experience the anguish of leaving the hospital without you girls in their arms.

For 35-week-old babies, your health is extremely good. You are conquering every problem. Thank you, God, for answering the first part of my prayer! And then, a couple of nights ago, your Momma was discharged from the hospital, another answer to my prayer, because it meant that she was recovering well from the surgery of your birth.

BUT, the unanswered prayer casts a disappointing shadow: you are not home yet; the NICU remains your temporary abode.

This part of my prayer is by no means the first prayer of mine to go unanswered, nor will it be my last. As I hold you so gently in the NICU and James prays so innocently for you at meals and bedtime, it saddens me to know that you three will also petition God for requests that will not be answered. When that happens, remember these truths:

1. An unanswered prayer places you in good company. It’s happened to all of us. Most significantly, it happened to God’s only Son. Jesus prayed the night before He died: “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from Me. Yet not as I will, but as You will” (Matthew 26:39b, New International Version). He died the next day.
2. The silence of God is not always His refusal to answer. God loves silence, and He has spoken the loudest to me in His silence. When I held you for the first time, you did not say a word while I whispered to you. The loudest sound came from the tears rolling down my cheeks. Silence is deafening.
3. One prayer may mutually exclude another prayer. God answered my prayer for your good health by keeping you in the NICU for a while longer. Farmers praying for rain to grow their crops directly contradict their child’s prayer for a sunny day to play outside. Within the confines of earth’s boundaries, not all prayers can physically be answered as prayed.
4. Your will is not always God’s will. The reason we pray in Jesus’s name is to request that Jesus sign off with His approval on our prayer. We are praying that Jesus agrees with our prayer and even intercedes on our behalf. (By the way, “amen” does not mean that the prayer is over, and we can open our eyes. “Amen” means something like “let it be so.” It is a statement of affirmation, that we truly believe in our hearts that this prayer is true.) When “amen” follows “in Jesus’s name,” well, that’s a bold and brave statement! We are praying in faith that we believe the truth of our prayer, even to the point that Jesus would sign His name on it.
5. The prayer itself may be more important than God’s response. God wants to hear your hopes and desires, always. Like any parent, He wants to stay connected closely to you.  He intently listens to our words to hear the longing of our hearts.
6. God may answer your prayer in a different time zone. The eternal nature of God removes Him from the boundaries of time. His perspective may mean that an answer is better later.
7. There is one prayer that God always answers affirmatively. If you pray for God’s forgiveness and His becoming your Lord through the saving grace of Jesus, He will never say no.

I will continue to pray for the day you get to leave the NICU and go home in the arms of Momma and Dadda and to your waiting brother who is ready to live life with you. Then, as now, I will never stop praying for you and for the future that will be your world.

I love you,
Grandad
September 24, 2017

• Letters to My Grandchildren