Author: Allen Reasons

I don’t want a funeral

“I don’t want a funeral.” Those were the words of my dear friend, Don Nixon, during his fearless battle with leukemia. Don passed away on Monday, February 8. I served on staff with Don and his wife Cathe. Along with their daughter Jordan, they became close friends of my family. We lived faith together and traveled the world together. (We really didn’t travel together, because Don was always 20 feet ahead of us, literally. He lived life in the present and the future, anticipating what great experience lay just ahead.)

Don and I texted or talked almost every day, as we battled our illnesses concurrently. We talked about a good God in a sick world. We talked about living and dying and living again. We talked about dreams, both realized and unrealized. We talked about what we imagined Jesus thought about institutional church (always one of our “go to” conversations). We talked about planning Advent and Lenten worship together again, although we knew that neither of us would ever be able.

Contrary to what many people think, ministers don’t usually have too many close friends. The confidential nature of the job means that we don’t have much to talk about! Don was a very close friend. We had a great deal to talk about.

“I don’t want a funeral.” I remember when Don first said these words. He and I had conducted more funerals together than you can imagine. We gave those moments our best, because we knew that we could make a difference with families at that confusing intersection in their lives. Funerals were holy moments in our ministry together, times when the eternal and the temporary crashed into each other. Each one was uniquely difficult in its own way. (I found it easier to “preach” a funeral when the deceased was not a Christian than when the individual claimed faith but no one could tell.)

“I don’t want a funeral.” When Don spoke these words, I reminded him how much life we had spent together with funerals. I reminded him of the countless hours preparing for them: I with the homily and prayers, he with the worshipful expressions through music and art. I reminded him that the services were a means through which the light of God pierced darkness. I reminded him of the age-old adage: funerals are for the living.

“I don’t want a funeral.” Why did Don say this? Because Don insisted that his life should speak for his dying. We should live life in a way that when we are gone, there is nothing left to say.

We did not have a funeral when Don died. We simply gathered to celebrate his life. If you have some time and want to celebrate a life well-lived, you can find a link to Don’s celebration on his church’s website (http://www.centralbaptistnewnan.org/media2010).

My friend has died. I am still very sad, and I miss him terribly. But I know that he has just arrived before me. (After all, I told him that he might as well get to heaven first, because he was always first to every other place we traveled!)

Thank you, Don, for living a life so well that you didn’t need a funeral. See you later.

Stuck in God’s Forgiveness

My grandson James loved the “idea” of playing in the snow recently. The trip quickly became a trap.

My wife and I have watched the video of our grandchild so often that we’re not sure how many of the 1000+ views on Facebook belong to us. Through our boundless delight and perpetual giggles at his innocent effort to trudge through the snow, we have come to realize that it contains a message “out of the mouths of babes” (Psalm 8:2a, New Revised Standard Version).

In Scripture, snow is an image of purification. The psalmist prays for forgiveness with the words: “wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow” (Psalm 51:7b, NRSV). The glistening, white blanket from heaven reminds us of God’s enveloping grace.

On the other end of the spectrum, the Biblical writers describe sin as a trap, a burdening encumbrance that  weighs us down (see Hebrews 12:1). Sin prohibits us from experiencing the fullness of life.

It would make sense that the cleansing snowfall of forgiveness should set us free from sin, giving us liberation to walk the path that God intends. Right?

But what does it mean to get stuck in the snow? Is it possible to become trapped in forgiveness? Can dependence on forgiveness create spiritual paralysis?

It happens often; we just don’t talk about it. We sin, and God forgives, and we sin again, and God forgives again. By His enduring grace, the cycle occurs over and over again. God always forgives; but if we never seek to change our behavior, we miss the deliverance He desires for us. If we never take steps toward a more Godly way, we stand in the exact same position to sin again as soon as the snow melts away. By staying where we are or wandering off on our own, we will end up right where we were.

Up to our knees in His mercy, it is easy to ignore that He wants us to follow Him out of the situations that lead us to sin.

“Let’s go”? or “I am stuck again”? Only one way leads to life.

He is gently guiding us: “Come with Dadda. Let’s go this way.”

Where Grammar Meets Faith

“…it was in Antioch that the disciples were first called ‘Christians'” (Acts 11:26c, New Revised Standard Version).

Grammar matters. I cringe when subjects and verbs disagree in number or participles dangle. I credit my appreciation for proper grammar to my seventh grade English teacher. I remember lining up at the chalkboard with fellow students on either side, poised to diagram a sentence in front of the rest of the class. The first student with the correct diagram won, i.e., got to sit down. The secret to completing the task correctly and quickly was to determine the various parts of speech in the sentence first. Placing the words in the diagram was simple after that.

I never outgrew these grammatical roots. I met a beautiful English major in college and married her. Our daughter has become a highly respected journalist and editor. My wife’s mother was a high school English teacher. Our family actually has dinner conversations about verb tenses. Our son lightens the grammatical intensity by suggesting that the English language is always evolving. (Him and me don’t agree on that one!)

The difference between parts of speech is actually critical in matters of faith. Is “Christian” a noun or an adjective? The answer to that question may determine more than we think. Technically, “Christian” can be both.

As a noun, “Christian” describes someone that a person has become. Evangelicals know this use of the word well. I am Baptist by tradition, of the “once saved always saved” variety. To accept Christ as Lord and Savior makes one a Christian forever. People use the designation as a title, position, status, and label all in one. Through church hallways, over political airwaves, and around company water coolers, “I am a Christian” is bantered about rather freely.

As an adjective, we have some work to do. In this form, “Christian” describes a pattern of behavior. We might say, “She lives a Christian life,” or “He makes Christian decisions.” When used as an adjective, “Christian” characterizes actions that are in line with the teachings of Christ. Sadly, this use of the word is not as prevalent as its noun counterpart.

Which is correct, noun or adjective? The answer is both. The world needs Christians (noun) who make Christian (adjective) decisions. The world needs Christians who walk the Christian walk. The world needs Christians in churches who live the Christian faith.

A name is only a noun. An adjective is a way of life. Grammar matters.

Living in a Violent World: A Christian Response

A mall in Omaha, Nebraska. A movie theater in Aurora, Colorado. An elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut. A neighborhood in Isla Vista, California. A church in Charleston, South Carolina. A community college in Roseburg, Oregon. A holiday party in San Bernardino, California.

This sampling of recent events has left many parents fearful of allowing their children out of their sight. Whether it’s playing in the yard, watching a movie, or even going to school, today’s parents face fears that many of us did not. What can we say to children who are growing up hearing phrases such as lockdown drill, soft target, and active shooter?

A young man named Timothy grew up with similar fears. He was planning toward a preaching career; but, in his day 2,000 years ago, that occupation was far from safe. Paul, an older pastor and apparent family friend, wrote a letter to young Timothy to encourage the young man in the midst of the violent uncertainty. (His words bore extra significance, given that Paul was writing from prison, having been arrested for doing the very thing that he was encouraging Timothy to do.)

One of his sentences is especially compelling: “For God did not give us a spirit of cowardice, but rather a spirit of power and of love and of self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7, New Revised Standard Version).

Consider the words…

Fear is not a God-quality. The word, translated “cowardice” above, comes from the word “dread.” Dreading something causes us to avoid meaningful moments and miss life experiences, because of the anxiety of what could happen. There may be many causes for this fear, but God is not one of them. (See Genesis 3:10. Fear was mankind’s response to sin.) God did not create us to live in fear.

“Power” is a God-quality. The English word “dynamite” comes from this Greek word. It is power from within. Isn’t that great? God designed us with the power to overcome our fears. We are far from helpless in spite of recent events.

“Love” is a God-quality. This one doesn’t seem to fit. What good does love offer in the midst of violence? The answer lies in the kind of love Paul describes. It is a sacrificial love that puts the other person first. God has instilled within us the ability to put others ahead of ourselves. Think selfishness…this is the opposite.

“Self-discipline” is a God-quality. The word that Paul uses here means to rein in our impulsive thoughts. God has given us the ability to control our reactions. My parents used to say we should count to 10 before we react. God gives us the self-control to count to 10.

What do these words mean in a world where we are taught to look around more carefully whenever we gather with others?

God does not wish for us to live in fear. Instead, He planted within our DNA three characteristics to overcome fear: power, love, and self-discipline. Look up for the power, because it comes from God, not other people nor other things. Look beyond for the love, because the ultimate spiritual answer to violence lies in a world where people seek the best for others, not themselves. Look within for the self-discipline, because God has given us the ability to control how we respond.

Five Suggestions for Turning 2016 Re-solutions into Solutions

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:17, New International Version)

__________

Have you ever wondered who put Christmas and New Year’s so close together?! It’s rather unfortunate timing when you think about it…how do you make a serious New Year’s resolution to get healthy in 2016, when the festive red velvet cake is on the counter and celebratory eggnog is in the refrigerator?

Bad scheduling or not, it’s that time of year. It’s time to decide what will be different in 2016. I have a few suggestions for fulfilling 2016 New Year’s resolutions so that they are not on your list again in 2017!

  1. Forgiveness first. So many actions that we want to change are actually rooted in sin. After pastoring for more than 35 years, I don’t want to sound “preachy” here, but let’s not overlook this: If the change we want to make is something that God expects of us, then we need to get it right with God first. For instance, if we want to get out of debt in 2016, perhaps we must first seek God’s forgiveness for the greed that made all those purchases look so attractive in the first place. Getting right with God is prerequisite to getting right with ourselves.
  2. Be specific. What gets measured tends to get completed. Suppose our resolution is to spend more time with our family. What does “more time” look like? Is it measured in hours per week or in activities per month? Is it a monthly father/son lunch or a weekly phone call? Specificity can be scary, because it calls us out when we fail. But it can also be exhilarating, because we know when we succeed.
  3. Leave it behind. Before we can travel down a new path, we have to step off the old one first. In the New Testament, a recurring idea is the image of putting off and putting on. Often with the metaphor of clothing, Paul describes the virtues of the Christian life. We should put off such qualities as impurity, greed, anger, filthy language, and lying. As these are removed from our lives, we can then put on the virtues of compassion, humility, patience, forgiveness, and love (for example, see Ephesians 4:22-5:20 and Colossians 3:5-17). For example, a resolution to read more in 2016 means we may need to turn off the television.  We have to put off the old before we can put on the new.
  4. Make a plan. How will we get where we want to be? Whom do we need around us and aware of our goals that will help us succeed? My wonderful wife is a health coach (time for my shameless plug). She spends her days encouraging people in their efforts to get healthy, with almost 350 people on her team currently. In 2016, she and I lost 80 pounds each, and she was my health coach! She laid out the plan for me, listened patiently to my struggles when a fast food burger sounded better than cabbage steaks, and encouraged me every step of the way. For the first time in my life, losing weight is not my resolution for 2016! Thanks to my encourager, I had a route map.
  5. Live life daily. We can only live one day at a time, and we ought to spend it thanking God for not telling us what tomorrow holds. As we pursue our goals, we should still live a life wholly present and completely connected.  Live fully, along the way to successes. 2016 is a gift, not just a goal!

Set Free by Christmas

“…But perfect love drives out fear…”  (1 John 4:18, New International Version).

My wife Laurie and I relaxed on the couch with our grandson James to watch the classic, A Charlie Brown Christmas (Dir. Bill Melendez. Prod. Lee Mendelson. By Charles M. Schulz. CBS Television Network, 1965.) I wondered if the fifty-year-old animation could hold James’s 21st century interest.  As he cuddled under a blanket in the arms and lap of his Gran, he was mesmerized as Charlie Brown fought to overcome the commercialism of Christmas. Imagine how Charles Schulz might react to the selling of Christmas today!

I watched with special curiosity after reading a fascinating observation by Jason Soroski. Mr. Soroski noticed that Linus dropped his blanket at a very poignant moment in the story. (Soroski, Jason. “Just Drop the Blanket: The Moment You Never Noticed in A Charlie Brown Christmas.” Web log post. The Way I See It. Also at Crosswalk.com, 14 Dec. 2015. Web.)

During his famous monologue on stage, Linus quotes Luke 2 to explain the meaning of Christmas: And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people” (Luke 2:8-10, King James Version). Laurie and I smiled with contentment as James listened so intently to the Christ story.

Then, I saw what Mr. Soroski had pointed out. As soon as Linus says, “Fear not,” he drops the blanket! I have watched that scene for half a century. I had never noticed that Linus apparently finds courage to let go of his security blanket when he shares the angel’s words, “Fear not.” Whatever dependence Linus had on the blanket, the words of the angel gave Linus courage to face life without it.

I don’t know if Schulz intended this message, but I received the reminder that the arrival of the Christ Child removes our fears.

As Laurie held James tightly, cuddling his head in her cheek, we watched as Charlie Brown walked away with his scorned tree. Even at the young age of two, James seemed to feel sorry for that little tree.

I wasn’t worried about Charlie Brown or his tree, because I knew that it was all going to end in a joyful celebration of Christmas. But I was worried about Linus. Why did he pick up his blanket as soon as he was done reciting the Bible passage? Did he need his reassuring prop because his momentary courage of faith faded with the last line of his monologue?

When Linus retrieved his blanket, he looked like so many people I have met along the way. He looked like worshipers who find hope to face life during worship; but when the benediction is spoken, the same doubts invade their souls that they had before they entered the sanctuary.

Linus resembled the faithful who find peace when reading a passage of Scripture or hearing a stirring song; but as soon as the experience passes, they struggle with the same demons as before.

Linus looked like the believers who joyfully celebrate Christ when around others; but when alone in the house, His joy is nowhere.

Why was Linus’s ability to face life without the blanket so fleeting? Why couldn’t he maintain the angelic encouragement, “Fear not”?

Good news! Linus actually does let go of the blanket again. Remember when? As Linus looks at the sad little tree that others had rejected, he says: “Maybe it just needs a little love.” With those words, he gently wraps the base of Charlie Brown’s tree with his blanket. His blanket begins the transformation of the small evergreen branch into a full-blown Christmas tree.

I don’t know if it were planned by Charles Schulz fifty years ago, but the message I received that night with my wife and grandson was this: Love conquers fear. There are many tumultuous reasons in this world to hold onto our blankets tightly. Given the violence and uncertainty all around us, fear is our natural reaction. We look for comfort and assurance in different ways…Linus held a blanket.

Linus teaches us that we can talk about the birth of Jesus. We can sing carols about Him. We can decorate our homes (and even dog houses) all we want. But only when we learn to love does fear really disappear.

I looked over at my wife, cradling our grandson. She whispered to me, “How can we love something this much?” In that moment, nothing on the outside mattered for either of us. Love conquers all fear.

And then, James dropped his blanket on the floor.

A King James Version of Christmas

“For everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God” (1 John 5:4-5, New International Version).

A computer? New clothes? A bike? What are you buying your children for Christmas? How about a pair of shoes? You can have the LeBron XIII iD Basketball Shoe for only $245! (See LeBron XIII iD Basketball Shoe.) My father was the head coach of a high school varsity basketball team for all of my childhood. He passed away years ago and celebrates Christmas in the Father’s house these days. I wonder what he thinks about $245 basketball shoes! I imagine that his whole team was outfitted for that amount back in the day, from hand-me-down jerseys with no name on the back, to short shorts, to knee pads, to knee-high socks, to white canvas basketball shoes. You were extravagantly special if you wore high tops!

Perhaps the LeBron shoe costs so much to support the lifetime deal that Nike and LeBron James signed this month. Reports are that King James and Nike agreed to the first lifetime contract in the company’s history. The deal is reported to be worth $500 million or more! (See LeBron Shoe Contract.)

You probably expect me to launch a diatribe against the massive amount of the contract. It’s tempting, given the paltry salaries of those who teach our children…sport vs. education? Or given the dire circumstances of my friends in Nicaragua and other countries…sport vs. survival? But amount of money is not the real issue. If people are willing to buy the shoes, then LeBron might as well be willing to accept the money. After all, you never know when he might need an extra half a billion dollars for emergency expenses like new tires or plumbing repairs!

The crux of the issue lies in the company name. (See 11 Things Hardly Anyone Knows About Nike.) Other than being the name of this successful shoe company, Nike is also the name of the Greek mythological goddess of victory, represented masterfully by a sculpture in the Louvre Museum in Paris known as “Winged Victory.” The implied message in the shoes is that if you spend hundreds of dollars on Nike shoes this Christmas for your child, you are providing the tools that will carry him or her to victory.

Back when sandals were the shoe of choice, the word “nike” was still a common word. In one letter in the New Testament, John used a form of the word “nike” four times in just two verses. In 1 John 4:4-5 (see above), “nike” is translated both “overcome(s)” and “victory.”  His point is simple: victory (“nike”) lies in belief in Christ.

Herein lies the lesson in the LeBron contract with Nike. It’s never about the amount of money…how much we have or don’t have. After all, wouldn’t we all like to experience a King James version of Christmas morning once in our lifetimes?! It’s not about amount; it’s always about value.

The amount a Christmas gift costs is not nearly as important as the value it reveals. Even before Christian parents look at the price tag of a potential gift, you should look at the value it teaches your children. What does the gift say about being victorious in life? If the most important value you have for your child is to be the best basketball player (or at least the most expensively adorned one), buy the shoes. If your ultimate value is to separate family members to maintain quiet around the house, buy a video game (insert my sarcasm here).

The supreme value for Christian parents ought to be to lead your children to a real faith in Christ. The job of Christian parents is to make sure your gifts preach the values that you want your children to hear.

Parents, your Christmas gift, however expensive it may or may not be, should reveal to your child something about the ultimate Value of life, the primary Source of victory, who just happened to be a Child Himself.

If you wish, go ahead and buy the shoes. Just make sure that you lead your child’s steps in those shoes to true “nike,” a living relationship with Christ.

Merry Christmas, Starbucks

 Whoever claims to live in Him must live as Jesus did” (1 John 2:6, New International Version).

On a recent trip to Starbucks, I was greeted with a display of Starbucks advent calendars and stacks of coffee bags with the word “Christmas” on them. But as anticipated, the red cup in which I was served my black gold was missing any of the traditional Christmas indications. It is the 2015 Christmas season scandal. Starbucks serves coffee from red cups that do not display “Merry Christmas” or any other symbol of Christmas. (See The Story Behind the Design of Starbucks Red Holiday Cups.)

The crisis joins a long list of Christmas atrocities. Remember when we couldn’t believe that stores decorated before Thanksgiving, and then, before Halloween? (I guess I’m in the minority to prefer Christmas trees, twinkling lights, and carols over witches, skeletons, and screams.)

Remember the year that Christians felt attacked because “Christmas” was shortened to “Xmas” in some advertisements? (I confess that I substituted “X” for “Christ” when I took notes in seminary. Since “X” is the first Greek letter in the title “Christ,” I felt more smart than sinister.)

Most recently. Black Friday, the unofficial start of the Christmas shopping season, has begun on Thanksgiving Thursday.

The faithful cry: “Christmas is under attack!”

Really? Is our faith so shallow that we rely on a coffee shop to frame our Christmas message? Do we need the mall to sanctify our season? Christians are in trouble if we depend on any secular organization to promote our faith. Instead, let’s own the season of Christ’s birth by being Christian during it.

If you must have your $5 cup of coffee, be Christian and let the person behind you go ahead of you and say “thank you” to the person who prepares your drink.

If you don’t want that red cup, be Christian and give that $5 to a charity to give to those who don’t know how they will purchase Christmas gifts for their children this year.

It’s not the job of Starbucks or the mall to be Christian. Their job is to make money. It is the job of the Christian to be Christian.

Christians being Christian at Christmas … just a second thought.

Merry Xmas, Starbucks.

From where I live … A Thought about San Bernardino

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts
” (Isaiah 55:9, New American Standard Bible).

The horrific events of San Bernardino have once more shattered the senses of humanity. Our personalized feelings of anger, frustration, fear, disbelief, confusion, grief, or helplessness invade our seasonal joy. The conversation touches almost every area of life: politics, religion, family, gun rights, extremism, violence, and public safety.

Without minimizing the value of these pertinent conversations, the context is largely beyond our immediate and personal control. Even though we have our opinions, the reality is that other people are making the decisions that affect us. San Bernardino is more than 2,200 miles away from me. What difference can I really make?

In my small corner of the world, what can I do about a hate-filled tragedy so far away? From where I live, my suggestion is to do the right thing in your little world.

Jesus lived in a pretty small world Himself. Even though He came to bring salvation for the entire world, He made His difference in a little corner of the globe first. He limited His travels to a relatively small number of miles, but surely He knew that there were other continents out there. We know about His miraculous healings, but what about all those disabled people He walked past? He chose a dozen people to join His inner circle; but wouldn’t His impact have been broader if He had 1,000 disciples, particularly given the ineptitude of some of the Twelve? His public ministry only totaled about three years, with the first three decades of His life in basic obscurity. What a difference could He have made if He worked until age 65?

Equipped with the most important message in the history of the world, Jesus delivered the word through a very small window of the planet. He changed the world from His small corner.

His example is our lesson. We too must find fulfillment and purpose in doing the right thing in our little sphere. In light of the tragedy in San Bernardino, we must try harder to get along with our enemy at work. We must hug our children more tightly. We must love our spouses more sacrificially. We must thank our local responders more regularly. We must respect our neighbors who think differently than we. We must drive our cars with a gentler spirit. We must shop our stores with a more patient attitude.

Through it all, we pray that God will see His plan taking place in our little corner of the world; that God will multiply our good to other corners of the globe; and that God will take care of what we cannot.

Just a thought from where I live,

Allen Reasons